I majored in bribery, with a minor in harassment
It's official. The college pamphlets are starting to trickle in.
I've begun to get countless pages from colleges, all telling me how "We're not like most schools" and how many dialects I can expect to hear on my way to class (about 5 minutes of walking on average, by the way). For the most part I've been able to discard them to the recycling pile. But all that changed today.
The letter in question looked like any other letter: tacky stationery (80% recycled fiber), meaningless barcode under my address, and login information for a website where I basically give them permission to blitzkrieg me with even more crap via my email inbox. But then some bold text in the upper right corner caught my eye. It read: "FREE Whittier Lacrosse Hat! Be one of the first 100 to reply!"
Now call me American, but I love free crap. I don't even know what a Lacrosse hat is, but I want one now. I'm nothing if I'm not supportive of the great industry that is collegiate bribery. Updates will follow as needed.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I looked it up on Wikipedia, it appears to be soccer/hockey, played on a grass field. You're gonna get a bicycle helmet esque hat. Oh, and HAPPY THIRD DAY OF SNOW DAY WEEK! (for me!)
February 13th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Well I know what lacrosse per se is, I just think the term "Lacrosse hat" is a bit ambiguous. Is it a regular ball cap that supports a particular Lacrosse team, or is it a specific style of hat? I guess I'll find out if I'm one of the first 100 to reply.
These snow days are getting ridiculous. And I'm curious, do you sit in front of the computer and just keep hitting Refresh on here? It's really showing up quite a bit on my bandwidth graph.
February 14th, 2008 at 7:07 am
no, I just have to much free time, and I like your site.
February 17th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
an' I'm jus a wild fangirl. Listen, you got jipped. According to Google's image search, all hats are "fair game" for lacrosse hats, as long as they
a) Say "lacrosse" on them
b) Have the logo of an institution that happens to endorse a lacrosse team.
It will most likely be a BASEBALL cap, disguised as a LACROSSE cap, disguised as a bribe when in reality it's a shameful waste of children's labor and raw materials.
February 18th, 2008 at 5:47 am
You forget one key point, and it is that the hat is FREE. It's not like I'm paying for a product and then being disappointed with my investment. All I did was fill out a form online. I lose absolutely nothing in this transaction.
February 19th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
See, the way I view it, not owning a lacrosse hat has a utility value of about zero. It's not good or bad. But having to own such a silly thing has an expected utility of about negative 10. So you lose by bothering to own an unnecessary, silly object.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
According to Terence's Law of Goodness, and presuming you can apply said law to non-food objects, then the hat would have infinite value because of its zero cost.
February 20th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
@Highlighter, finally we have people talking sense on here.