Every once in a while, while one idly peruses the web, one finds a gem that absolutely must be shared.

My latest find is the Random Topic Generator.

It is an online script which, using basic English syntax, generates random sentences comprised of an adjective, a noun, a verb, another noun, and a location. The resulting sentences, while completely ridiculous, are also semantically accurate [for the most part]. Sure, you could find similar results in the gel-pen scrawlings of any emo kid, but this is the digital age, after all.

Some examples are reproduced verbatim after the gap.

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I think Russian is an awesome language.

In fact, I’ve been wanting to learn it for quite some time. So at Borders today I didn’t pass up the chance to leaf through Russian for Dummies. Granted, I didn’t retain much of it, except for this incredibly useful phrase: S lyogkim parom! or literally, Congratulations on a light steam!

Let me explain “incredibly useful,” all facetious undertones aside. The phrase is used in Russian culture toward anyone who leaves a shower, sauna, or any place where you can, let’s say, clean yourself. (This is where you brainstorm innumerable volumes of applications for this.) I think we need a phrase like this in English. I’m thinking perhaps of a national commercial hygiene initiative, in which a charismatic, well-to-do spokesperson bestows his congratulations on all for their impeccable cleaning habits. (Think Walt Frasier meets Cinema of Russia.) It would inspire national morale, boost the economy, and promote cleanliness in an otherwise repulsive population.

Have you ever wondered how that spam mail you forwarded from your Gmail inbox actually got to your boss? Well Google wants to learn your take on the email sending process through the wonderful medium of video. The result will be a compilation of the best of the clips sent to Google depicting one of the many steps involved in sending an email. To get you started, Google even provides a PDF of the renowned M-velope which must be printed out and used in the video. All clips are sent to Google through YouTube and must be under 10 seconds in length.

Here’s what people have sent in so far…

In the spirit of the upcoming new season of The Price Is Right, hosted now by Drew Carey, Mo Rocca takes to the streets to see how well New Yorkers know their prices…