With all this talk about global warming, I wonder how people account for the fact that it’s mid-May and it’s still not spring.

I mean, I was out riding my bike today (yes, I do leave the house on rare occasions), and I was wondering why I was shivering in my zip-up band hoodie and cargo pants. Yes, we can always invoke Ohio as the epicenter of climactic irregularity, but this is ridiculous even for Ohio. If the penguins and polar bears are having such a hard time in the poles, they should just move to the mid-western United States.