I love Apple.

But they do have their faults, many of which I overlook like any indoctrinated person would. I don't blame them for trying to save the traditional iPod, even though they sealed their own demise with a device as versatile as the iPhone. (We have a device that eradicates the need for mp3 players! Oh wait...we make those...)

I do, however, blame Apple's marketing team for their poor use of grammar to promote the new iPod Touch. Apparently whoever came up with the slogan didn't have the dictionary widget loaded on their Dashboard, or just failed to remember it was there with all the other flashy features of our present Mac OS.

It kind of makes "nano-chromatic" sound cool.

Today my brother brought home one of those ubiquitous Scholastic book catalogues.

It's really amazing what people try to pass off as "young adult literature" (imagine me saying "quote-unquote"). Sure, I still see some of the timeless classics I enjoyed in 6th grade, like Holes and The Giver. I even see some books on McKinley's English outside reading list, like Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell.

But some of these other books are laughable, if not downright idiotic. I see things like the Hannah Montana Poster Book, featuring who else but Disney's own prized pop tart. There's also How I Survived Middle School: Who's Got Spirit?, because middle school is all about pubescent girls and their aspirations to later whore themselves in high school. They even try to wax political with such titles as High School Musical Set and The People Pick a President. It's a pretty novel approach to politics, actually: see which candidate Zac Efron supports and then vote otherwise.

Shame on Scholastic for selling such garbage to ingenuous kids who wouldn't know a classic from a graphic novel (a flowery euphemism for a comic book, by the way). Young adult literature should be written at a young adult's reading level, but not make them dumber as a result of reading it.

Every once in a while, while one idly peruses the web, one finds a gem that absolutely must be shared.

My latest find is the Random Topic Generator.

It is an online script which, using basic English syntax, generates random sentences comprised of an adjective, a noun, a verb, another noun, and a location. The resulting sentences, while completely ridiculous, are also semantically accurate [for the most part]. Sure, you could find similar results in the gel-pen scrawlings of any emo kid, but this is the digital age, after all.

Some examples are reproduced verbatim after the gap.

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